Losowe angielskie dowcipy
English is tough stuff ->
Multi-national personnel at North Atlantic Treaty Organization headquarters near Paris found English to be an easy language ... until they tried to pronounce it. To help them discard an array of accents, the verses below were devised. After trying th... [ca造 ->]
Homer Simpson Laugh-Lines! ->
Oh, yeah, what are you gonna do? Release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouth and when they bark, they shoot bees at you? ***** Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose ... it's how drun... [ca造 ->]
I hurt all over! ->
A young woman said to her doctor, 'You have to help me, I hurt all over!' 'What do you mean?' said the doctor. The woman touched her right knee with her index finger and yelled,'Ow, that hurts.' Then she touched her left cheek and again yell... [ca造 ->]
No sex for an eagle! ->
A golfer is in a competitive match with a friend, who is ahead by a couple of strokes. The golfer says to himself, "I'd give anything to sink this next putt." A stranger walks up to him and whispers, "Would you give up a fourth of your sex life?" ... [ca造 ->]
Blondes r thick?! ->
Santa, a dumb blonde and a smart blonde ran a race. Who won? Santa flys, not runs, there aren't any smart blondes, so the dumb blonde it must be!... [ca造 ->]
Engineer and Guillotine ->
Today they're leading a priest, a drunkard and an engineer to the guillotine. They ask the priest if he wants to face up or down when he meets his fate. The priest says that he would like to face up so he will be looking toward heaven when he dies... [ca造 ->]
Blondes and Bras ->
How can you tell if a blonde stuffs her bra? They'll be sqaure because they forget to take the Klennex out of the box.... [ca造 ->]
Mating Call ->
Q: What's the mating call of the blonde? A: "I'm *sooo* drunk!" Q: What is the mating call of the ugly blonde? A: (Screaming) "I said: I'm drunk!"... [ca造 ->]
Your mom is so fat... ->
Your mom is so fat, that I knew her all my life, and I still haven't seen all of her!... [ca造 ->]
Frying Pan ->
Q: How is a blonde like a frying pan? A: You have to get them hot before you put in the meat.... [ca造 ->]
Long Tongue ->
There was once a guy whose tongue was so long that when he stuck it out for the doctor, the nurse went, "Aaaaaahhh!!!"... [ca造 ->]
The Angel atop a Christmas Tree ->
On Christmas Eve Santa Claus was getting ready for his annual trip. As he pulled his favorite pair of red pants on, they ripped. So, he had to take them off and put on another pair, which was a bit too tight. He then went to check on the rest of t... [ca造 ->]
Herc, Snow White & Quasie! ->
Hercules, Snow White and Quasemoto were sitting at a table talking. Hercules says, "I think I'm the strongest man in the world but it hasn't been proven yet." Snow White says "I think I'm the fairest lady in the land but it hasn't been proven ye... [ca造 ->]
Knee Pains ->
A woman goes to the doctor complaining of bad knee pains. After the diagnostic tests showed nothing, the doctor questions her, "There must be something you're doing that you haven't told me. Can you think of anything that might be doing this to your... [ca造 ->]
Learn To Iron ->
Hubby: As a start I think you should learn to "iron," then we could do without the ironing lady. Blonde Wife: Well if you would learn to fuck me properly we could do without the gardener.... [ca造 ->]